Ridiculousness

It has been 13 days since the last update and no one has fallen down.  This is probably a record.  We are still waiting for Christina's first fall of the year and when it happens, it will be epic.  Unfortunately for us, she is not allowed a drinky drink for the next week, which seriously limits our chances of a fall happening any time soon. 

But the spirit of this blog isn't just falling, it's about how ridiculous we are in life.  So here's a story for you about being ridiculous. 

I bought some fancy shoes last week and they were finally delivered to my house yesterday.  Well, kinda.  I got home from work around 6pm (had to go to CVS and then to Fry's - I hatehatehate grocery shopping so this was not an ideal situation) and there was a FedEx sticker on my door.  I was loaded down with grocery bags, my purse, mail, etc.  As soon as I opened the door I had a dog jumping up and down in excitement to see me while the cat snuck out the door.  As I scrambled to get the note and shoo the cat back in, Stella (the dog) ran out the front door.  Now there was mass hysteria in my life because Stella is SUPER BAD and when she is off leash she runs around my community causing small children to cry and old ladies in walkers to trip. 

So ANYWAY, after getting the dog and the cat back inside I could not find the FedEx sticker.  Locating the sticker took me another 5 minutes.  By this point I was cursing like a trucker and a sailor combined.  And blaming my misbehaving, four-legged children, because of course this is ALL THEIR FAULT.

I found the sticker (under the mail) and it said the package was delivered!  And is on my front patio!  But, I didn't see any shoes!  Whhhaaaatt??  I even opened the door and looked, just to make sure.  Nope, no shoes.  Now I'm PISSED.  And it's ALL THEIR FAULT, damn animals.  I call FedEx, I call Neiman Marcus, I update FaceBook, I text my friends, I vent, I fume, I drink wine and I worry about my poor DVF platform slingbacks.  Finally my only choice was to go to bed and hope I didn't have a nightmare about my shoe crisis.

This morning when I walked out of my front door I saw the shoes sitting on my front patio.  They were there all along.  Damn animals.  Still their fault.

~S

First Official Fall of 2012

Today is the 3rd day of January and the first official fall of the year has occurred.  I work on the 2nd floor of a 2-story building, and going up and down stairs has never been my strong suit.  Seeing as how I am still suffering from a ankle injury this past September, the stairs are even more dangerous for me now than ever, yet I refuse to take the elevator.  Maybe because I work for a wheelchair van company, but I feel terribly guilty as an able-bodied person when I wait for the elevator in a lobby full of wheelchair users.

But I digress.

I made it down the stairs in one piece, but lost my balance as soon as I hit the tile floor.  I wobbled, my bad ankle screaming at me, and fell against the wall.  My car key scraped the length of the wall as I caught my balance.

This is an every day thing, so I didn't think much of it and proceeded to walk toward the door when my co-worker stopped me and said, "That was an interesting sound."

Turns out when a key scrapes down the length of a wall it sounds like a gigantic fart.

Welcome to 2012, ladies and gentlemen.  I hope you enjoy the ride.

~S